Thursday, September 27, 2007

Full Moon Bus Rides


We report that we have found conclusive evidence; undeniable proof, that a full moon effects human behavior! Should you desire to experience this natural ebb and flow, wait until the next full moon and join us on Charleston's bus system during this brief period of undulating lunar persuasion. We gained a new appreciation for the 28 day cycle and now wonder what each approximate month-long period will bring.

As the moon rose yesterday, a young couple brought their baby aboard the bus. Oh Lawd, the internal voice screamed, as the bus transformed into a cooing, oogling group of humans temporarily absent the languages they used to use to communicate. Suddenly, after possibly one bump too many, some crackhead woman in the back, convinced the man sitting to her right poked her in the rib(and maybe he did, we were observing the human condition in the presence of a baby), began screaming. She simply went off - full moon style. Apparently she had fallen asleep. According to her diatribe she was quite comfortable when the supposed poking commenced. She yelled at that man for approximately 2 miles, which included threats of throwing him off the bridge (once we got there, of course). Mixed between threats were proclamations of how hard she worked all day, therefore, not needing poking by some...inaudible something, something...her verbal deluge dried by the crescendo of the baby's wail. The baby clearly did not enjoy the ranting and raving. The baby cried louder. Our busmates began one by one laughing as we all recognized the baby had taken control of the situation. And the angry woman, now imminently aware of the wake created in her tirade, screamed out one final time,"soooooorry, baaaaabbbbeeee." She sung it as she proceeded to march to the front of the bus, which was obviously as far as she could get away from the quick-fingered gentleman. She escaped to the kind ear of the driver. Possibly for some female support, or to apologize.

You may be worried about the bus-ride at this point. However, history taught us "there is nothing to fear but fear itself" (Frankin D. Roosevelt).

Several years ago, a friend of ours, Wilbert Alix shared a story with us. He was in Europe in a small hotel facing the street. Four a.m. brought a terribly drunken man down the cobblestoned avenue singing at the top of his lungs. Startled awake, he naturally went to the window to find the source of the commotion. As he opened the window he found the neighbors all doing the same. He described the sound pouring in as, "actually not all that bad." The man passionately bellowed his opus to the residents, by then all standing in their respective windows. As he came to the end of his repratoir and picked up his coat, earlier discarded on the impromptu realization of a captive audience, he staged a large bow, to which the residents clapped and cheered. Then the man stumbled off, spent. Our old friend concluded his story by explaining his attention in that moment turned to borders. Had the same story played out here in the U.S., the man would most likely have been arrested. Go to Jail immediately. Do not pass Go.

We Americans tend to be a little hysterical. As the woman let loose, we remembered our friend's story. No one over-reacted. The driver looked up a few times, but overall this woman was just yelling. She's clearly had a rough go of it. But as we get used to the public transportation system, we mostly rely on the fact that everyone on the bus tends to mind their manners. We have to. Who wants to get kicked off the bus, anyway? And, these lessons in humanity are invaluable. There's more to this story, but for the moment, we're still taking it all in. Maybe we'll blog further philosophical considerations at a later date. Right now we're riding out the energy of the moon's pull.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've come to understand those bus tirades (been doing an experiment to ride the bus instead of driving)but it never occurred to me to factor in the moon!

The Cosmopolitan Charlestonian said...

We'd love to hear more about your experiment! Please feel free to post any of your experiences here. Living without a car for us just seems to take a bit more planning. But overall, a worthwhile investment.

Cheers to you! And here's to the lunar influences.