Thursday, August 14, 2008

New Superfund Called IRS to save U.S. Economy - Funding from Nigeria!?!

Over at The Big Picture, we discovered the latest scheme hatched around the United States' need to raise capital in an attempt to fight its insurmountable debts while dealing with its current stagflationary economy. Apparently, Dr. Bernanke (Chairman of the United States Federal Reserve) has given up on Super SIVs, TAFs, Hope Now [Lost] and the inner-workings of the 697 page document that is HR 3221, the Housing & Economic Recovery Act of 2008. All ideas from former Goldman Sachs gurus (including Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson) are now off the table as Fed Chairman, Bernanke, has turned to prey on the elderly and any other misinformed internet users residing in Nigeria. The latest acronym is now labeled IRS (Internet Reserve-building Solicitation) and is sure to provide the U.S. a decent sense of relief being that the US Central Bank has finally reached out to the Nigerians for assistance.

From the U.S. Central Bank:

"Your assistance is requested as a non-USA citizen to assist the Federal Reserve of the USA, and also the investment bank community of Wall Street USA, in moving these funds out of USA. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your Nigerian account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the Federal Reserve of USA. In exchange for your accommodating services, the Federal Reserve of USA would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or Nigerian $4 million of this amount."

Literally, hundreds of e-mails have gone out to those in Nigeria with an internet connection. And not one moment too late! Within a few short weeks the U.S. will no longer have to worry about FDIC funding or fractional reserve systems. Surely, the Nigerians will be attuned to offering their assistance to right the ship of the U.S. Especially now, as they must be aware of the dollar's recent gains (get in on Forex before it's too late)!

C'mon, Nigeria - make some haste here (you know we're good for it)! Also to those of you in the U.S. who may find the Fed's e-mail campaign unpalatable, think of it this way - this might not be quite the same as sovereign investing, but, hey....any outside funding will do.

For the full story, check out, again, The Big Picture. And, to any of you who have received solicitations from Nigerians in the past (when this role was reversed)- you must feel some sense of resolve for your previous troubles.

As always...happy investing!

Map compliments:

1 comment:

WileyCoyote said...

Hey, turnabout is fair play, right?

I'm going to get my check from that Nigerian Prince tomorrow. He promised... Maybe I can use some of my $1 million to help out Bernacke...