Un-Bee-Lievable, Bee Bandits, Whod'a Thunk It?

Well, it's always the thing you least expect that fills you with amazement. Seems as we've predicted in previous posts, with this economy, thievery is in vogue. And the nay-do-wellers are stealing everything that isn't screwed down.

Apparently, as if we only had Colony Collapse Disorder to boggle all scientific minds to date, now a bunch of idiots find profit in stealing entire hives of bees from beekeepers. Now, like most dumb criminals, they've overlooked a pretty big issue - the fact that the beekeepers' boxes are all marked and registered with each State. Doh!

Scientists have predicted that if bee colonies collapsed completely, leaving the poor bee extinct, along with the millions of other species being effected by the human species' lavish lifestyle, humans would follow (in extinction, that is) just four years after the bees. Yes, you read right. Four Years. That is how important the bee is to our very survival. So, as anyone with half a mind to think about it for a second will realize, we certainly don't need a bunch of two-bit, profiteering agricannibals in our midst (it's enough that we've got Monsanto to deal with).

So, anyway, this is the latest and greatest sign of our weakening economy. We've got copper pipe thieves and now bee thieves. Our own minds here in Charleston are pondering who these people are exactly. Copper pipe thieves, for instance....are they out of work subcontractors? Bee Thieves. Out of work apiologists? What are we missing here?! Is it possible people who study bees are out of work because of Colony Collapse Disorder, or are these just really smart criminals?

Anyway, here are two cases. The pilfering is occurring in California and Maryland.

Getaway CAR-TA

Sometimes truth in the public transit realm is stranger than fiction. Considering a recent total eclipse of the moon, it's likely the odd scenario I’m about to describe to you could be further astrological phenomenon, typically resulting in crazy human behavior as noted previously in Full Moon Bus Rides. Regardless of the cause, what I observed last Friday night was nothing short of a mystery. With the worries of the office left behind I boarded the bus. I patiently read as we motored through Mt. Pleasant back toward Downtown Charleston. The bus jerked a bit to a quick stop and a random guy boarded. He passed in front of me and sat diagonally across from my seat near the back. At quick glance he carried what appeared to be a large cardboard box. A closer look revealed an item wrapped in a clear piece of plastic. It looked as if it was the clear wrapper from another product, retrofitted around the cumbersome object being heaved around by the young passenger. I was able then to make out what looked like an old desktop computer inside the plastic bag. Along the back wall, where the guy picked a seat, he was able to situate the large box to his right, snuggly tucked against the end of the intersecting row of side wall seats where there is just enough legroom to slide in against the wall. There his box was probably slightly more secure, being deterred from sliding forward should the bus jerk to another stop. Fascinated and totally nosy over the mystery object dude carried through the rain on a miserable Friday night, I spied over my book and eyed the man as he looked out the window. He was outfitted in black and I noticed the item was not a computer, but in fact, A CASH REGISTER. I almost began to laugh and cursed my own twisted sense of humor for finding scenarios such as this to be completely hilarious. I mean, come on, how often do you see a guy dressed in black get on the bus carrying a cash register protected from the rain? To top it off, no one on the bus looked a bit concerned. Not one person batted an eye or said a thing….including me. How could any of us know if the guy was a criminal without a car, or a cash register repairman without a car? In either case, how does one approach this question with a perfect stranger, anyway? Mystery intact, the bus finally lumbered up to my stop and I exited without incident or a further hint of what would unfold when the guy would later get off the bus. I thought about him carrying that cash register around on the streets of Downtown Charleston and snickered a little. I wondered if anyone would notice. It seemed to me the least the cash register carrying enigma could have done was wrap it in something other than CLEAR plastic! Honestly.