New Superfund Called IRS to save U.S. Economy - Funding from Nigeria!?!

Over at The Big Picture, we discovered the latest scheme hatched around the United States' need to raise capital in an attempt to fight its insurmountable debts while dealing with its current stagflationary economy. Apparently, Dr. Bernanke (Chairman of the United States Federal Reserve) has given up on Super SIVs, TAFs, Hope Now [Lost] and the inner-workings of the 697 page document that is HR 3221, the Housing & Economic Recovery Act of 2008. All ideas from former Goldman Sachs gurus (including Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson) are now off the table as Fed Chairman, Bernanke, has turned to prey on the elderly and any other misinformed internet users residing in Nigeria. The latest acronym is now labeled IRS (Internet Reserve-building Solicitation) and is sure to provide the U.S. a decent sense of relief being that the US Central Bank has finally reached out to the Nigerians for assistance.

From the U.S. Central Bank:

"Your assistance is requested as a non-USA citizen to assist the Federal Reserve of the USA, and also the investment bank community of Wall Street USA, in moving these funds out of USA. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your Nigerian account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the Federal Reserve of USA. In exchange for your accommodating services, the Federal Reserve of USA would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or Nigerian $4 million of this amount."

Literally, hundreds of e-mails have gone out to those in Nigeria with an internet connection. And not one moment too late! Within a few short weeks the U.S. will no longer have to worry about FDIC funding or fractional reserve systems. Surely, the Nigerians will be attuned to offering their assistance to right the ship of the U.S. Especially now, as they must be aware of the dollar's recent gains (get in on Forex before it's too late)!

C'mon, Nigeria - make some haste here (you know we're good for it)! Also to those of you in the U.S. who may find the Fed's e-mail campaign unpalatable, think of it this way - this might not be quite the same as sovereign investing, but, hey....any outside funding will do.

For the full story, check out, again, The Big Picture. And, to any of you who have received solicitations from Nigerians in the past (when this role was reversed)- you must feel some sense of resolve for your previous troubles.

As always...happy investing!

Map compliments: http://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/nigeria.htm

Britney Breaks Down – New Year Already Going To Hell

Lately, you may find a sense of discord on these pages. We have grave cause for concern. Just four days into the New Year and Britney Spears, American cultural icon, suffers yet another breakdown. Trying more often to be in the world, not of the world, The Cosmopolitan Charlestonian widely appreciates the beauty of life; the energies that move space and time; the pieces of our selves knit from the fabric of humanity and the greater Universe. Stopping to smell the flowers while marveling at the intricacies of this amazing place, is, after all, the larger story behind this life experience. Britney is clearly not sharing our zen-like moments.

There seem recently to be a plethora of super sized problems facing America in addition to/as a cause of/resulting in Superstars locking themselves in bathrooms to evade giving up child custody. Despite all the good out there, all the positive efforts and cultural awakenings, too many obvious reflections of Britney can be found staring back at us as a sign of the times; a representation of American life. Seeing Miss McPopStar being hauled away to Hospital against her will in restraints suggests America has allowed expectation management to completely escape us.

Maybe someone should tell Britney the truth (this could be happening as we speak). Accountability still matters. Expectations do require management. Minor freak-outs (or staged freak-outs) are sometimes pallatable, hell, even profitable; mega freak-outs are simply not socially acceptable. Pills are not magic shifters of reality. Temper tantrums don’t often win friends and influence people. The innocent Mickey Mouse Club days are over. Laws do apply to her, too. All of humanity is not at her disposal, nor are the children she bred. Fame is a badge of honor to be worn by those with a special talent who selflessly share their gift with the rest of the world. Capitalistic greed typically leads to ruin, and Social Security will not be there for her in old age after she’s squandered her child-star earnings. These simple words of advice might really help her out though no one here is willing to go as far as smearing our mascara to emote on a YouTube video in her favor. Sorry, Brit. On a funny note, check out this Britney/ChrisCrocker Mashup we found on allieiswired.com (beware vulgarity).

To kick off 2008 Britney now epitomizes a cultural break-down happening right here, right now - a sort of unwinding. A short stay at Cedars Sinai will probably have no hand in “fixing” Brit any more than liquidity injections will fix a banking system breaking down of greed. It is quite possible with Oprah's help, Dr. Phil could fix both, however. Dr. Phil, meet Ben Bernanke. Please help with these dual systemic crisis. Brit’s breakdown has been a leading news story all day. A female reporter called her a victim of her fame. But is Britney a victim? Are any of us victims? Hardly.

It is becoming increasingly evident that a life dedicated to illusion, pageantry and useless drama is one that leads to eventual madness.

In the Art of Dreaming, Don Juan (a Yaqui Indian, not the philosophical lover of other stories) tells Carlos, “… most of our energy goes into upholding our importance … If we were capable of losing some of the importance, two extraordinary things would happen to us. One, we would free our energy from trying to maintain the illusory idea of our grandeur; and two, we would provide ourselves with enough energy to … catch a glimpse of the actual grandeur of the universe.” — Carlos Castaneda.